Tattoos

In a plastic bag shoved behind the bedside table in our spare room lies a little girl’s dream treasure trove. Unceremoniously bundled together is the pound shop’s finest – bubbles, stickers, tattoos, whoopee cushions, coloured pencils, fairy wings and pirates’ eye patches all waiting patiently to be gifted. Except, unfortunately, they’ll be waiting a long […]

Cups

It’s funny, and you probably won’t remember this – but before you had children, a cup was something you got out of the cupboard, filled with water (or another beverage of your choice) and sipped from at your leisure. Now, when I even hear the word every single muscle in my body tenses and I’m instantly filled with […]

Washing machine

Warning klaxon!! This post teeters between the mundane and the pathetic. I must confess, if I’d read this post five years ago, I would have despaired for this sad lunatic who delivered this ode to laundry. Please don’t read this post if you a) don’t have kids, b) are vaguely cool or c) either like […]

Comforter

Why would you call a sleep consultant? I can’t speak for others, but here were my reasons for caving with my second: •I was determined not to fall again into the sleep black hole that is still our first child •I wanted to start on the right foot this time •It’s the only advice anyone […]

Banana

The pristine copies of baby books I bought brand new from Waterstones when I was pregnant with Dory, and second hand off Amazon when pregnant with Pearl, have moved from their room (desperately flicked through at 3am) to my bedside table (resolutely studied before bed in an effort to Work On Their Sleeping and Routine) to […]